Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: S9 ep 3 sun and SHADE in the Bahamas


By: Brian Moylan/Venture.com

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Rich Women Doing Things recap for this paid television announcement. “Hello, my name is Elvis, and I am a butler at the Baha Mar Resort and Casino on New Providence Island in the Bahamas. No, Rihanna is from Barbados, which is not the Bahamas. Here on New Providence Island we have an enormous complex featuring three hotels, a 100,000 square foot casino, and more than 2,000 rooms. Yes, that means while some of the suites have their own butlers and some guests are treated to lunch and massages on a private island, you will most likely not get that. You will be next to a cramped pool with about 3,000 other people who will most likely be Canadians in cargo shorts past the knees and Crocs. But don’t worry, all of the fountains shoot high enough that the droplets reach the stratosphere. Doesn’t that sound like paradise?”

While the rich women’s trip to this resort looked magical, there is no way that Erika Jayne, Kyle Richards, or Lisa Vanderpump would ever set foot in that enormous eyesore of a resort if the bill weren’t entirely being footed by someone else and they weren’t contractually obligated to be there. Obviously the resort kept them away from the rabble, so even while they were at dinner, cheek to jowl with a church group from Missouri and a woman from Arkansas who is about to enter her third marriage, it looked like the whole thing was very luxurious.

When Erika gets to her room her three-man gay glam squad, including creative director Mikey, is there waiting for her, brushing out a 70-inch ponytail. Erika tells us that all of these women could afford a glam squad but they’re just too cheap to hire one. I appreciate Erika’s dedication to the character of Erika Jayne. She started out being on the show with a certain level of fashion fabulosity and now she’s stuck delivering it year after year. She’s kind of forced everyone to up their fashion and glam games, as Denise Richards disastrously learns.

The first night in the Bahamas, Dorit invites everyone for drinks in her huge suite. Lisa is wearing a green caftan and looking like late-career Elizabeth Taylor, which is a compliment. Erika is in a gorgeous tiger-print pajama suit and said 70-inch ponytail, which is the mother that gave birth to the litter of all of Ariana Grande’s ponytails. Kyle is in a multicolored flowing dress, Lisar is in the slinkiest leopard-print dress I’ve ever seen in my life, and Dorit is in a stupid red bikini top and sea anemone-print pants with a giant red bandeau in her hair. She really does look like Lisa’s dog Schnooki. Denise shows up in a white tank top and sparkly white shorts feeling horrendously underdressed. The poor thing. Doesn’t she watch the show?

Dorit is the only other woman who seems willing to spend the money on a glam squad. The difference between Erika’s glam and Dorit’s glam, however, is that Erika’s is worth the money. The next day on the private island, Erika looks like an ’80s pinup fantasy in a vintage Body Glove one-piece, a pair of Oakley-esque shades, a silver mesh cover-up, and the ponytail, this time braided. Dorit is in an acid green mesh pantsuit and bikini and looks like she is wearing an electrocuted poodle on her head. How can someone spend so much money and still end up looking so mediocre? Every other woman on the trip looks better dressed than her and at a fraction of the cost.

Anyway, we’re not only here to talk about the fashion (though I do request a GIF of Erika in the water wringing out her ponytail), we’re also here to talk about drama, and it all seems to be revolving around Lisa Vanderpump. Erika and Lisa had a small skirmish at lunch when Lisa told Erika that she thought her note of condolence about her brother’s suicide was “standoffish” which Lisa says is something “you have been trying to get over.”

Immediately Erika retreats back into her shell and tells Lisa that she meant every word and that is how she expresses her sympathy. In typical Erika fashion, she gets mean when she gets mad, but I understand where she’s coming from. She sent a very nice, handwritten note, which is a lot of work for people these days. It was not a text or an email, it was something she had to put a stamp on and (have an assistant) take to the post office. I think it was completely sufficient. She also took a picture of it because she knew it would come back up because Lisa is “slippery.”

Lisa says she thought they were closer than that, which is a sentiment I can understand. As Kyle says, Lisa is wracked with grief and that doesn’t always lead to logical reactions. I can excuse her on this one. Lisa quickly apologizes and says she loves Erika and that she did nothing wrong. It seems healed over.

But the essence of Erika’s argument with Lisa dovetails nicely with this whole Dorit Lucy Lucy Apple Juice fiasco. (Why is the dog’s name not Lucy Lucy Apple Juicy? Does no one know how to rhyme anymore? Does no one appreciate parallel structure?) Erika says to Lisa during the fight, “Don’t make me out to be the bad guy.” It seems like everyone one of these women is waiting for Lisa to make them out to be the bad guy and doesn’t want to let her do it.

We all know the basics of the fight: Dorit got a dog from Lisa’s shelter and had to get rid of it and didn’t give it back to Lisa. Dorit was obviously wrong, even though she will never admit it. Lisa has been refusing to talk about it on camera, other than bringing it up privately at dinner with Dorit and her husband PK, a pigeon eating dried puke off the sidewalk.

Kyle makes a joke about the situation at the party in Dorit’s room in front of Lisar who is like, “What is going on?” When they won’t tell her she says, “Well, cheers to keeping secrets,” which is another GIF I could really use. The next day at breakfast, Teddi and Kyle tell Lisa about how Dorit’s dog came up at Vanderpump Dogs and Lisar immediately says, “You guys were set up.”

This is the moment that Lisa Rinna has been anticipating for the better part of two seasons, ever since Lisa embroiled her in that “Muchausen’s” fight with Yolanda Bananas Foster. She knows that Lisa plays dirty behind the scenes and was waiting for the precise moment when she would finally be revealed.

Lisar posits that Lisa told the guys at the store to tell Kyle and Teddi about the dog Dorit dropped off so that Lisa could say, “I don’t want to talk about it,” and she could punish Dorit while still coming off like a saint. That is exactly what happened and both Kyle and Teddi see, in that moment, how Lisa set the whole scenario up.

Teddi says she sees a pattern in Lisa’s behavior, and she’s only been around for a season. Kyle sees this setup as a way for Lisa to “protect her relationship with Dorit, but keep her hands clean.” When they bring it up at dinner with the whole group, Dorit is upset because she thought she and Lisa buried the whole thing.

Lisa is also upset because she says that she has been trying to protect Dorit from this whole mess. If that is the case, she never should have allowed her staff to bring it up while the cameras were on. She also never should have brought it up again on camera with Dorit. She then blames Teddi for gossiping about it and telling everyone, but Teddi didn’t hear about it on camera the first time and she was very careful not to tell anyone else about it. The only reason it came up on camera and Kyle knew was because Lisa’s two Johns brought it up at Vanderpump Dogs. This lands squarely at Lisa’s feet, like one of Schoonki’s organic dog food turds.

Lisar is at the other end of the table telling everyone that it smells like a setup and smiling with the face of a woman who has been waiting two years for her moment and knows enough to grab it like Barbra Streisand clutches a bedazzled white microphone. This seems to be the culmination of something that has been in the works for seasons. It’s a subtext that was started way back during Brandi Glanville’s reign (say her name three times and she shall appear), and it is finally becoming text. All Lisar can do is smile, each toothy tile like a full moon reflected in the Bahamian sea, and all of us waiting for the tide to come in.

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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: It’s a Gas, Gas, Gas


By Brian Moylan/Venture.com

Vanderpump rules  fans recently got to see Lisa Vanderpump three sheets to the wind at the opening of Tom Tom. This week we got to see her getting silly on laughing gas while going to get some face work done with Kyle. There is nothing as fun as watching Lisa Vanderpump, who is stiffer than a gluten-free snack chip, get messed up and live a little bit. Here she’s taking huge hits of gas like the caterpillar on a hookah in an Alice in Wonderlandcartoon and then giggling like a member of Jackass when someone else farts. (Jackass does Alice in Wonderland is a movie I would definitely watch.)

But I worry about Lisa on that much gas at the doctor’s office. First of all, she’s offering Kyle to do some medically-approved whippets with her, which, let’s be honest, could get this doctor’s license revoked if people are just handing out hits all willy nilly. Secondly, she’s laughing and squirming around in her seat while the dermatologist injects wasp bites of filler into her neck so it’s not as wrinkly and saggy. Does she really want to be sliding in her seat with a syringe that close to her major arteries?

A wasted Lisa is really the most exciting thing to happen on this episode. While last week started off with a bang, this week we’re back to an episode of Rich Women Doing Things. Tonight, the rich women avoid rattlesnakes while on a walk through a canyon, they forget just how many houses they have, and they talk about how their alopecia-ridden Pomeranians needed to get pacemakers. It’s not that big of a week for the rich women.

Click on the Link Below for the Full Story

https://www.vulture.com/2019/02/real-housewives-of-beverly-hills-recap-season-9-episode-2.html

Real Housewives of Atlanta: S11 Ep 15 “Let’s make it official’


The moment: Lil Mo sang Superwoman as Dennis dropped to a knee and asked Porsha to marry him

Sweet Home Atlanta.. The housewives are back on southern soil.

Where we find Porsha and Dennis baby shopping. The couple finds a stroller to their liking at a whopping twelve hundred dollars. Dennis wants four of them. One for he and Porsha and one for the grandparents. While leads Porsha to ask, if they are going to be a couple in one household. Dennis seems a little reluctant to give up his bachelors pad.

Across town, Kandi meets Todd at a new the new Old Lady Gang Restaurant. They talk about expanding the family. Todd is not sure if he wants to be a part of the process with the surrogate. Kandi seems disappointed.

Speaking of disappointment, things aren’t good at the Leakes home. We find the couple getting ready to go to the hospital. Gregg is having surgery having his colostomy bag removed. The surgery is a long one and Nene is going to work at her store. The stress is clear, Gregg feels it and Nene has internalized it. In her confessional, Nene says they were having problems before his illness and she seems to be reevaluating her marriage.

Later, Cynthia and Marlo visit Nene at her house for lunch. Nene confesses she was upset in Tokyo. the ladies try to comfort her.

After Tokyo, Eva was able to spend time with her grand father in Los Angeles before he died. Eva and Michael or meeting with the D-J for their wedding. With three weeks to go , she is overwhelmed by the wedding. One of the dresses she ordered, is no longer available. The guest list has increased and they are $50,000 over budget.

Shamari and Ronnie meet with Porsha and Dennis at the Go Mart. The two men discuss married life and Dennis tells Ronnie he plans to propose. In an OOOH moment, Shamari picks a booger from Ronnie’s nose. That’s real love ya’ll!

Potential surrogate: A potential surrogate talked to Kandi and Todd as they considered it

Kandi and Todd meets with Dr Jackie, who introduces them to a surrogate. Todd seemed withdrawn from the process, as it is new to both of them. At Dr Jackie’s office, Kandi, who has seen one too many Lifetime movies about surrogates running off with the child got all of her questions answered by a surrogate recommended by Dr Jackie.

Porsha’s sister Lauren is filming Porsha getting ready for a charity event she and Dennis are attending. Dennis is chartering a Helicopter for the event.

Arriving on the rooftop of the venue. The couple is greeted by Lil Mo singing their favorite song. The floor in covered in rose petals. Dennis drops to one knee………….

The question: Dennis asked Porsha if she would like to be Mrs. McKinley

CityFella

Last Week….What the Ladies can do with a pickle( Just Saying )

Click on the link below for story

https://sacratomatovillepost.com/2019/02/11/real-housewives-of-atlanta-s11-ep-14-in-a-pickle/

Bravo Housewives Round Up

#RHOBH Not sure the Hype surrounding Beverley Hills was worth it. Lisa Vanderpump’s brother committed suicide. We see an uncharacteristically emotional Vanderpump.

Binge Worthy and On

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What a difference a season makes. Last season #RHONJ was painfully boring. After dropping Siggy and adding a couple of new Housewives. New Jersey has become the most entertaining of all the Housewives. The Reunion begins this week. #RHONJ is binge worthy. Treat yourself and watch the episodes before the reunion. In last weeks finale, the war between Danielle and every body (except Teresa) continued. Danielle’s husband, Marty, talked shit about Margaret again to her hubby Joe. I could tell you, but its more fun to see it.

So Far, Margaret Joseph’s is Bravo Housewives MVP for 2019

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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season Premiere Recap: Vanderpump and Dump


   

By: Brian Moylan/Vulture.com 

The women of Beverly Hills are wasting no time this season. None at all. After several lackluster years where I had to rename the show Rich Women Doing Things, the rich women come right out of the gate doing a lot of things, but mostly yelling at each other and wearing enough yoga pants to cover all of the targeted Fabletics ads in your Instagram feed.

The very first seconds of this season show an explosive fight between Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, and Lisa’s husband, a 90-year-old scarecrow that was once given a name but has since forgotten it. We don’t get much substance behind the fight, other than the fact that Kyle thinks that Lisa did something that Lisa claims she didn’t do.

At one point, Kyle says to her, “Maybe you care more about your image than you do your friendships.” Whatever the specifics of the matter, this seems to be the general criticism of Lisa that has been lobbed against her by various people over the years, including Brandi Glanville (say her name three times and she shall appear) during the “bring the tabloids on vacation” scandal, Lisa Rinna with that whole Munchausen’s thing, and Dorit last season when Lisa got mad at her and Kyle and stormed out of a restaurant.

Click on the link below for the full story

https://www.vulture.com/2019/02/real-housewives-of-beverly-hills-recap-season-9-episode-1.html

Real Housewives of Atlanta: s11 ep 14 In a pickle


Into it: Eva straddled Kandi Burruss during the sexual pickle game

In a pickle

 We began with Porsha getting a bouquet of flowers from Dennis in Atlanta.   She squeals and face times him showing him her enlarged breasts.  Its been a minute since the two have had interpersonal contact.   Hanging up the phone, Porsha makes the decision to ignore’s Dennis’s Past and the word on the street (Kandi)

Last night, we find Tanya frantically getting Eva’s bachelorette party in Tokyo.  I think she says it was her first party and trust me it shows.   She looked like she emptied out the Dollar Tree toy section.   It all looked cheap and nothing looked fun.  Shamari is the first to arrive to help Tanya   The food is all American and on point.  The memo said pajama’s and lingerie.  While the other ladies came out in sexy night lingerie

 Too bad Lucy’s wearing his spare pajama set.

Kandi came in some pajamas that Lucy Ricardo would find in her drawer.  All she needed some was some pink rollers and a hair net and she would be all set.

The mood was hopeful until Nene walked in with a sad drawn face which immediately changed the tone of the party.   When Tanya offered her a drink, all Nene had was a stank face.

One of the things I have a problem with Nene is her need for attention. “All about Nene”. A regular person, might have lied, made an excuse not to attend, because they wouldn’t want to bring the party down.  But not our Nene.

Tanya hires a local stripper. Remember this is Japan.  He opens up his robe and the ladies were kind.  Except this stripper was modest, he kept his white gym socks on.  Eva, asked if Tanya “Yelp the Stripper”

Kandi said, they needed some real dirty fun.  Leave it to Kandi, who suggested using a household pickle as a penis.  With the pickle  ( for those who didn’t see the episode) the ladies were told to choose their favorite position and pretended to bang the crap out of each other.

Playing along: Cynthia Bailey joined in on the pickle game fun

At one point, the pregnant lady gets real aggressive with Cynthia who was bent over the arm of the sofa and will yelling orders at Cynthia “to arch her back while Shamari is behind Cynthia.  There were pickles on top , It was wild as shit.!!!!   We didn’t see everything, trust me.  It even removed Nene’s black cloud.  I tell ya, I will never look at a jar of pickles the same way.

( wonder if the pickles were room temperature or….. )

The ladies hit the clubs, we saw bits of dancing and a drunk Marlo on the floor  in front of her floor at 4am.

Back at the hotel, Nene was finally able to get Gregg on the phone.  The two struggle with the call.  Nene learns Gregg  has changed his surgery date to remove his colostomy bag.  It’s clear Nene is near the breaking point. Everyone reminds Nene how strong she is.  But its a brave face that’s cracking.  ” I  have been the “strong” friend who everyone cries to and when you cry, no one knows what the do or how to handle it -I still have feelings” She tells Cynthia.  Who reminds Nene,  “She is there for her”.

EVERYBODY KNOWS “AYA” THE TOUR GUIDE IS NOT PLAYING

Even, Nene was on time.  The ladies see a samurai sword demonstration. They later get a lesson.  The ladies face off and has to choose which one has to die. Everyone is game except for Nene and Tanya who refuses to die.   However, Kandi, takes the Joan Crawford route, needing a minute to die.

Eva goes to Nene’s room and Nene breaks down after receiving a huge floral arrangement from Gregg with a lengthy apology.

 

Last night in Tokyo

 

Eva planned to fly to Los Angeles.  The ladies go out for dinner, Eva has bought Kimono’s for the ladies.

Bravo teases us….

Eva thanks everyone for party.   She suggests that everyone go around and say their highs and lows for the year.  We didn’t here from all the housewives.   Cynthia low was her daughter going to college and her high, is her boyfriend Mike. Shamari, her lows is losing her passion for music., her highs were her children.  Kandi, lows is a balancing a busy lifestyle and being a mother, her highs are her successful businesses .  Nene, refused to participate.

Porsha didn’t have a low.  She emotionally talked about how Dennis has supported her in fulfilling her dream and giving her the life she always wanted.  The bravo camera occasional veered off showing Kandi’s face.  Kandi had something to add.

(fade to commercial)

We returned to Kandi .  What we expected to happen, didn’t .  Kandi tears up and genuinely apologies to Porsha for saying all those shitty things about Dennis, because she’s been there with Todd.   She said she knows how important Todd has been in her life and if Porsha feels the same way about Dennis that’s all she needs to know AND Dennis has been nothing but nice to her.

As fillers go, this was a good one.

Atlanta is struggling this season.  Everyone is sensing a major overhaul next season.   Everyone might be concerned, it is rumored Vicki Gunvalson of the long running  Orange County has been demoted to friend (think Marlo).

The hottest housewives Franchise is currently  New Jersey, the three newest cast members have breathed new life into the once tired franchise.  Two weeks ago, it was off the chain and this Wednesday is the finale.

 The Housewives of Beverly Hills begins Tues

What do you think?

CityFella

 Last Week 

Eva’s broke free and Chopped up Marlo

Click on Link Below for full story

https://sacratomatovillepost.com/2019/01/28/real-housewives-of-atlanta-s11-ep13-eva-chops-up-marlo-in-tokyo/

 

 

 

Dahling Lisa Vanderpump, Leaving Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?


https://www.usmagazine.com/wp
Dahling, Season 10? We’ll See 

After eight seasons,has the Crown grown too heavy for Ms Vanderpump?  or has her cast mates had enough? 

Is she or ins’t she leaving #RHOBH? only her dog Jiggy know for sure. 

On Reality TV, no man or Vanderpump is an island.   If your castmates have had enough of you and refuses to film with you, its OVAH?   Its all bout da drama.

In October ,when filming of the ninth season began, there were rumors about Vanderpump missing in action.   She did not attend Camille Grammer’s wedding with the rest of the housewives.  Those rumors were confirmed by castmate Lisa Renna who said on Instagram, Vanderpump hadn’t shown up for work in six weeks. 

The rumors are swirling, is she over her castmates? or are they over her?   She missed the France vacation and she and Kyle maybe at odds as the two close friends haven’t spoken in weeks.   They say she feels excluded, others say when she’s invited she doesn’t show.  Many of her segments were filmed without the other castmates  

Lisa Vanderpump  has had a rough year.  In May, her brother Mark, reportedly committed suicide in England. 

Lisa and Kyle are the pillars of the show.  They have been on the show since its premiere in October 2010.  Fans wonder if the show can survive the loss of Vanderpump?  However, should she leave RHOBH, she will still appear on Bravo on her very popular show Vanderpump Rules. 

So, if this her final season,we’ll know after the reunion. 

“Erika Jayne” Fearless for 2018


 

Image result for erika jayne performance

  She is a wife and mother. Lives in a mansion, drives exotic cars and has her own private jet yet Erika Girardi she felt something was missing .

Erika, named after Susan Lucci’s character on “All My Children” always wanted to be an entertainer.  She had few roles in flims but after her second marrige she seem to put that part of her life away.

At 35, the old Erika remerged, this time with a new persona Erika Jayne.  This Erika, takes no prisoners, this isn’t the Erika of maybe, Erika is of yes!

In 2007, her first song “Roller Coaster” went to #1 on Billboards Dance Charts

Her performing career began at an age when many female performers start to fade

Today she is a a gay icon.  Straight men like her, straight and gay women like her.   Her career has exploded after joining “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”  Where she is refreshingly honest, very direct and she doesn’t aspire to be a size 1.

This Georgia Peach eats real food.  No Beverely Hills pushing the food around the plate.  and has referred to her cast mates as hoe’s and bitches.  (with love of course).

Erick Jayne has had 10 #1 songs on Billboards Dance Charts

XXpensive is her latest # 1

She reminds me of Whoopi Goldberg and Cher.A woman isn’t here for the Bullshit and she calls them as she’s sees them.  Not easy for her cast mates, but her fans love her frankness.

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Resolutions…. Lies Lies and more Lies…

So much of what we don’t do is often based on fear.

I think we could benifit from a little Erika Jayne Fearlessness

(At least for one day)

  For Jayne there is no tomorrow only today!

How great is that!

Today

Happy New Year

CityFella